For the Love of the Orphan

Warner Bros. new horror movie Orphan proclaims that it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your biological children. Let me tell you about how an orphan changed my life… Read more

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Court Date – Again!

Tuesday is our third attempt at adoption court in Ethiopia.  Actually. with the eight hour time difference, our hearing will probably take place sometime while we sleep tomorrow night.

Our adoption process has had it’s ups and downs.  During the home study and paperwork phase everything went smoothly until it came to getting a background check on my time in the Republic of Panama.

Those types of records are difficult to come by when a country has gone through a couple of government overhauls.  We were continually pointed to different agencies and different government departments, both U.S. and Panamanian.

Finally, we got the letter we needed, right when we also figured out that Panama was one of the countries listed where a background check was not needed (because they don’t keep those types of records). Read more

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Gifts worth waiting for

I remember the excitement of finding out my wife was pregnant with each of our first four babies.  Each time there was excitement with an undercurrent of fear – “are we ready for this?” God was always good to quickly answer – “yes, or I would not have blessed you with this new child.”

As the husband, I admit, I had the easy part.  Mandy on the other hand had to deal with all the blessings of actually carrying our babies – morning sickness, swelling, hot flashes, a tired back, and of course prenatal vitamins.  I’m sure there were many other wonderful gifts of pregnancy that I am leaving off.

Then there was the waiting.  The first seven months seemed to fly by.  However, the last two seemed to take forever.  We’re ready for our new baby and the kids are ready for their new brother or sister.

As we approached the expected delivery date everyday was a new day wondering – is it going to be today? Read more

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The Theology of Adoption

My wife and I attended the Christian Alliance for Orphans conference held in Dallas this April.  On the way to the conference my wife was excited about the conference and about getting involved in this ministry.  I was looking forward to the conference but I had other issues that God had been working out in me.  I was not completely sure that orphan ministry was where he wanted me right now.

I tried to share my concern with my wife but I did not do too well.  I tried to explain that God has been working on pride issues in me and telling me to focus on Jesus first above all else.  My struggle is that I don’t think I do the basics right.  I’m still wrestling at making sure Jesus is glorified in all I do and that my life needs to be about living out the gospel and telling others about Jesus.

This may sound weird to some, but something like orphan ministry actual sounded easy compared to my first responsibility of living the gospel and sharing it with others.  It’s easy to have a broken heart for the orphan.  But I need to have a broken heart for my neighbor.

I teach a Sunday morning bible study.  I enjoy it.  God’s word excites me and teaching it excites me.  But when I am at my job or with others that don’t know Jesus, I stay quiet.  This is what God has been working out in me.  Orphan care ministry needed to come after the gospel ministry.

As I tried to explain this to my wife on the trip up to Dallas I think I frustrated her.  I sounded like I was looking for excuses but I wasn’t.  I just was not explaining where I was coming from very well.

The first breakout session we attended at the conference was a lesson called “A Theology of Adoption”.  It was presented by Daniel Bennett, the Senior Pastor at Bethany Community Church in Washington, Illinois.  God is so good.  He took the very first session and within the very first five minutes, let me know that AdoptionOrphan Care ministry starts when the church’s heart is first desiring to know and glorify God.

You see, I was concerned about orphan care ministry being focused on the orphan.  Don’t get me wrong, we need to love and care for the orphans and that is the point of the ministry.  But here I am struggling with glorifying Jesus above all else and I knew a heart-breaking ministry could tempt me to focus primarily on the injustice.  My focus would be what “I” could do or encourage “others” to do.  Any ministry has to be about what “God” will do.  My heart needs to be about glorifying God, and through glorifying Him loving others – orphans in orphan care ministries, but also my co-worker and my neighbor.

So what is the theology of adoption?  Here are the six points that Pastor Bennett laid out:

1. Our adoption was accomplished despite our condition.  (Romans 3:10-23; Romans 5:6-11)

2. Our adoption was an act of God. (Romans 3:24-26)

3. Our adoption was accomplished through the suffering of our savior. (Romans 5:6-11; Romans 6:1-11)

4. Our adoption makes us part of a new family. (Romans 8:14-17)

5. Our adoption can never be revoked. (Romans 8:14-39)

6. Our adoption is for the glory of God. (Romans 9:22-29)

The theology of adoption is about glorifying God and about the gospel.  What God has been working out in me these past six months and still today, is preparing me for this ministry.  I don’t know if he has me ready yet, but I’m placing one foot in front of the other and we’ll see where he takes me.

Philippians 2:12-13 (ESV)
¹² Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, ¹³ for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

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Finding Joy

(by Mandy) Yesterday, I was reading about how the Israelites were complaining (again) and how God got mad at them for asking for selfish reasons. As I read that, I stopped and prayed God would forgive me for complaining about this delay and asking for this to happen faster for selfish reasons. Yes, I do believe it’s best for Gideon to come home sooner, but I also really wanted him home sooner because I had my expectations and they are not being met. I had my plans for this summer and fall, and now this delay is messing with that! After releasing that, I immediately felt a wave of peace come over me and I have felt that peace ever since.

I am still asking God to bring our little guy home this summer because God wants us to share our hearts with Him. But I’ve stopped whining and begging to God and tried to have a grateful attitude instead of complaining. I’m sure I will start complaining again (because I’m broken like that!), but maybe I will be able to recognize it quickly and hand it over to God. He doesn’t want us to have a spirit of complaining about not getting our way.

I read about how God works in people’s lives in amazing ways when they are faithful to Him. I always think it’s so cool to read that about other people. But, God wants us to be faithful so He can work amazing things in our lives, too! He doesn’t want a few Christians in the game while the rest sit on the bench. This is our chance to grow in our faith and allow God to make us stronger.  I need to embrace this time, knowing that God is using it to change me.   And boy, do I need to be changed!

James 1:2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have it’s full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

I know God has worked on my heart during this wait.  I think if everything was going perfectly smooth, I would have been consumed in my preparations for bringing a baby into our home.  I’ve still been getting ready, but it’s been more in a practical way.  I’ve been more consumed with seeing God in this.  There have been moments He has revealed things in my heart that, believe me…aren’t pretty.  But, I guess that’s the first step to changing me – making me see where I need to change.

Hopefully, we will see some movement in the courts this week for abandonment cases.  I know the Ethiopian government is trying to do what is best for these kids.  I am praying this will happen quickly so these kids can get home to their families that are waiting for them.

We have court on Monday and our paper chain is quickly shrinking.  I’m supposed to be excited as I watch it get smaller and smaller, but I get sad sometimes thinking it could be counting down to the day we won’t pass court.  I’m confused – do I get excited as court gets closer, or do I not???  I am looking forward to seeing families pass court again so I can hope we will pass, too.  Maybe this is the week!

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Please take a number

We heard from All God’s Children today.  They’ve reviewed our dossier and all of our paperwork is in order.  Amazing!  Well, actually I’m not all that surprised.  My wife has been spearheading the documentation phase of our adoption process and she is amazing.

When you look at the requirements list for an adoption dossier it is overwhelming.  Background checks, reference letters, letters of good health from doctors, and on and on.  Ethiopia will have more information on us that we ever knew existed.  The odds of getting all of the paperwork collected and getting it all collected right are pretty much stacked against you.  However, Mandy handled it all like a pro and we got it done – right.

We’ve been at this since October when we heard the call to adopt.  Most of the process has been extremely smooth except for trying to get records from Panama that state I have a clean record from 27 years ago when I lived there.  See Waiting for a Message.  That message finally arrived and here we are, waiting again.

We’ve had other trials along the way.  Right before Christmas we learned that Mandy had a miscarriage.  We did not even know she was pregnant.  That was just the beginning.  Three trips to the emergency room later, we discovered that it was not just a miscarriage but an ectopic pregnancy.

Apparently Mandy became pregnant in late November and had been suffering through an ectopic pregnancy for about a month.  The doctor tells us we are extremely fortunate that her tube never ruptured which could have been life threatening.  Mandy is still recovering.

I don’t understand God’s ways (Isaiah 55:8). Two years ago God convicted us that we never should have made the decision for me to get a vasectomy.  We made the decision out of fear and without much prayer.  So after much prayer, I had a reversal.  We did not make this decision for a desire to have another child.  We made it to be obedient.

Then this summer, God started working on our hearts to adopt.  It started when Moses came to live with us for a couple of months.  Then it grew until we knew what God wanted us to do and our hearts fell in love with the orphans in Ethiopia.

So if God wanted us to adopt, why did I have to have to have the reversal?  I’m not sure.  Did I do it out of guilt?  No.  I actually cried tears of joy on the operating table.  Doctor Leverett prayed over us before he started the surgery.  His ministry is to provide affordable reversals for Christian couples.  It felt like worship (until he actually started…).

Why did God allow Mandy to get pregnant only to have the pregnancy become ectopic.  If she had a successful pregnancy we would have been ineligible for our adoption and would of had to forfeit our money and dreams for our child in Ethiopia.  We did lose a child in the process that we had not even had a chance to dream about yet.  I’m not sure if I should feel relief or sorrow.  I think I feel both, how’s that?

What’s the plan God?

Psalms 25:4-5 (ESV)
⁴ Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.
⁵ Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.

So what’s with the number 18?  That’s what number we are in line to get referred to our little boy in Ethiopia.  Whoop!

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Homestudy complete?

(by Mandy)

I haven’t posted an update on the adoption in a while because it has been at a standstill while we waited for our letter from Panama.

We waited one month!

The letter finally came in and our social worker said she has everything ready.  Now we wait to see if our agency is happy with it.  I’m a little nervous because our “letter” from Panama was more like an incomplete form – they filled in his name only and stamped and signed the bottom that his criminal record was clear.  I would feel much better if it looked more like our letter from Texas – written on state letterhead and stamped with the state seal.  It was very pretty.  I think I covered all of our bases though because while we were waiting for the “letter”, I also requested a letter from the Freedom of Information Act and the National Archives – both stating they have searched the records from Panama and Tony is not a criminal.  I had some time on my hands.

Now we just wait.

Patiently.

Fortunately, I have lots of catching up to do after the Christmas festivities and lots of New Year’s resolutions to make – and break.  That should keep my mind off the waiting.

It really hasn’t been that bad.  On one hand, it seems like we started this process a long time ago; but, on the other, I haven’t been thinking about it too much.  I think it’s been good.  So far.  I’m sure it will be much harder once we see our little boy’s face and we want to bring him home.  Okay – thinking about bringing him home makes me want to squeal!  That’s a pretty good sign it’s going to be much harder to be patient!

On those same lines – Tate was asking us questions the other night about what else we need to do before we can bring our little man home.  When he started talking about getting to meet him for the first time, he got teary eyed!  As his mom, I was very touched to see him so moved at just the thought of meeting his little brother.  Sweet!

Hopefully, it will not be long before I have another update about more progress.

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Waiting for a message

Our family has been in the adoption process since about October.  We already have four beautiful biological children but we wanted to share our family and our love with a child that otherwise would be without a family.

We’ve been through the process of deciding domestic or international, country of origin, and agency.  We’ve completed an in depth application with lots of questions about our motivation and heart as parents and as people.  We’ve spent hours with a social worker, hours completing a workbook and hours taking online educational courses on adoption.  Lastly, we’ve completed our dossier.

Well…almost.

As part of the background checks, Ethiopia requires a background check from every country that we may have lived since we were eighteen.  I happened to have lived in the Republic of Panama between the ages of 17-20, twenty five years ago.

In case you are not current on your Panamanian history, the government in place twenty five years ago no longer exists.

Fortunately, the US Embassy in Panama was able to declare that my background is clear and they promised to send us a letter stating that fact, about a week ago.

Now we wait.  It’s only been a week, but in the age of email and instant communication, it feels as if they sent the letter via a bottle tossed into the ocean for the waves to carry it here.

I know there will be lots more waiting as we go through this process.  Once the dossier is ready, we’ll need to wait for our agency to approve it.  After the agency approval, we need to wait for Ethiopia to approve the paperwork and approve us a fit parents.  Then we wait for a child to be referred to us.  And finally, we wait again for the Ethiopian courts to process the adoption.

We obviously had plenty of waiting with all of our biological children as well.  However, I could place my hand on my wife’s stomach and feel our child.  Our new child is thousands of miles away.  The wait is longer when you can’t see what is happening.

It’s like standing on the beach, looking out into the vast ocean, waiting for an expected message in a bottle.

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Open Mouth, Insert Foot

(by Mandy)

It’s official!

We had our first “Brad and Angelina” comment this past weekend.

I did not get offended or give a sarcastic response. I was really pretty shocked that someone would even think of that. It’s just funny that anyone would look at a family that is adopting from Africa and think of it as following a trend. And then actually say it!

When I think of following a trend, I think more along the lines of Chuck Taylor shoes, Twilight books, and… I can’t even think of anything else because I really don’t pay that much attention.

One thing I don’t think of is adopting a child. Following a trend is something that takes no commitment. Even the fashion experts advise us not to spend too much money on trendy accessories because they are not going to last.

Adopting a child is permanent. Our hearts are committed to a child we have not met. This decision was covered in prayer. It affects every member of our family – plus this little guy. We would all be crushed if something happened and it did not work out.

I don’t need to defend myself against this comment. I was just surprised anyone would say that. Hopefully, it was just a bad joke. This person does not know us very well, but I would not like to be thought of as someone who would adopt a child so our family can look cool.

Remember – I’m already Hipp.

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